Deep depression

Screw the exam, screw the result, screw my android, screw the sounds of renovating job outside my house. I got something vital that I need to handle by myself. Well, everyone feels depressed at times. Illness, the loss of a family member, the breakup of a relationship. What is certain is that depression must be treated before it seriously disrupts the consequent events. Like John C. Maxwell said, "everyone who has made a mistake and doesn't correct it, is making another one." Alhamdulillah, at least I passed the exam but what makes me depressed is that my parents feel a little disappointed towards me which makes me declare my result as a failure! Hurm.. I guess they knew it is apparently due to my destructive habit for instance, excessive daytime sleeps. Nevertheless, I have try hard and FYI, hardest among the past experiences of taking exams. It just my luck or 'rezeki' is not there and I still deserve the second chance.


I guess it's now the time for me to change for a better person, far from my past Faiz who looks playful and mischievous. In other perspective the failing experience teaches me not to decline my ladder of aspiration instead I swear to always looking up the ladder and at the very least to retain my foot as there's one guy down there. LOL. I've decided, let the failure comes first then success comes afterwards. Forget the procrastinating ways of doing DSLs, SGSs, notes, study, even being the last man taking shower in college. True story. However at any circumstances, Coffee and "riadah" are still my everyday's best friends but for this time, sleep is my goal. Games and Facebook are my sworn enemies who do their best to distract me as often as they could.


Gladly the idea of having 2weeks-short break is still under our dean's decision due to the fact that "what the hell do I do for a month or more than that?". Lastly, I’d like to keep this post brief because I have to pack my stuff to go back to college.

Morning Cup Of Coffee

What makes your day cheerful and extremely pleased? My answer would simply a cup of coffee. When I was in college, coffee is more than enough as the morning wake-up call. A good cup of coffee in the morning calms me down, relaxes me and prepares me up to go through the day. I’m not just briefly in love with the energetic effect of this southern Arabia-originated beverage, in fact, I love the delicate aroma, color and wonderful taste, no wonder coffee was among the top agricultural export for several countries in the world. I’m definitely a coffee enthusiast. But the pride soon humbled me when my friend noticed and subsequently told me that I’m addicted to coffee which in turn caused him to thread me "penagih". For some reasons, he got that point right. When I don’t get my daily intake of coffee I may appear aloof and occasionally become agoraphobic. I have noticed a slight decrease in my mood fluctuations whereas slight increase in anxiety. Strictly speaking, this is one sign of a caffeine addiction I get by myself. Damn it. (At least I'm not addicted to morphine)

Well, there are many reasons why people are drawn to coffee. Some teenagers prefer to use coffee to keep them up for a late night of studying, but they also use it to wake themselves up after their short night of sleep. Personally I find that it is hard to ward off this kind of habit. We all knows that caffeine can speed up heart rate, thus making it as the most consumable drink in our society. Coffee may be popular, but its side effects aren’t. However please bear in our mind that too much caffeine can lead to stunted growth or weakened bones and some disorders like insomnia and diarrhea.

Last but not least, one word to describe coffee, SPLENDID!

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Why Nerd?

First thing comes through my mind, "am I supposed to write the title 'nerf' instead of 'nerd'?". Coz, I've been thinking that, I tend to be the one who likes playing with NERF™ than becoming the one who loves books and socially akward in general or in colloquial language, we called it nerd. Whereas NERF™ is a toy brand created by Parker Brothers and currently owned by Hasbro. Back to the issue then, I am far from becoming a nerd due to the reality that I play a lot, gossiping a lot, instead of reading. As far as I concern about my study, most of the time I really read the book for the sake of exam, otherwise I rather play some sorts of games or sports during my leisure time like football, computer games etc. I personally admit, that's one of my destructive behavior (Oh gosh, I really need to have a session with counselor). Luckily, I passed my first medical exam despite without distinction and simultaneously there was the first nerd failure.

Nevertheless my gut tells me, "you shouldn't be a nerd and... yet there's no reason to deactivate your email (i_am_nerd2@yahoo.com)". lol. I personally feel that to trust my instinct utterly would allow me to live a reasonable existence. There was something else I wanted: to be smart. I preferred to be on the smart side of average rather than the dumb side, but intelligence counted quite more than physical appearance, charisma, or athletic ability. There's a strong correlation between being smart and being a nerd. Frankly, I myself hate the nerd-appearance students and so do the nerdiness within themselves just because, they seldom socialize; at least go playing some sports. It is not due to the fact that I am an Executive Councillor of Sports and Recreation of Medical Student Association who needs to encourage all of you guys to participate in sport activities, it just we're having the same physiological system need to stabilize normal condition within ourselves and build rapport among our colleague indirectly. At last I found out myself that trying to be a nerd just makes my live miserable and BORING.


I just want to stress out that there's an Arabic proverb mentions, "A healthy mind comes from a healthy body".